For the Mind body & Soul
Every day I work on being the best that I could be, Consciousness is a gift and a curse. Knowing that your subconscious creates your reality and that you are responsible for everything that happens to you good or bad is powerful. If you believe you helped create what exist, then you must believe that you can create something better. Having this knowledge made me feel empowered, no more blame game, everything that is happening in my life is because I subconsciously created it, so now the task becomes to look deeper inside myself, so that I could transform and manifest the things I want, that's where the journey gets interesting because the blame game doesn't really stop I just turned the finger and pointed it at myself, that brought in a whole different set of emotions.
I woke up to an awareness of myself in 2000, I was fired from my last gig and I decided to start a whole new career path, I went to where it was comfortable for me a Los Angeles, I was 30 years old it was my first time away from all of my family I was by myself my children stayed back in Sacramento, this was the first phase of my awakening a lot of self reflection came into play the mirror was out. That is when the questions really started to kick in, why am I here? What am I supposed do? Who am I? What is my purpose? Today 14 years later, I know the answer to all of the questions I had, but the more I learn, the more questions I have.
One of the big questions is "Why is this happening in my life? I have taken accountability for where I have been, what I have done, I recognize that I am the common denominator in my life and that my reality is a reflection of my inner self, Why am I still not where I saw myself being? Shoot I should have gotten there by now, I been, meditating, sun gazing, eating right, taking care of my mind and my body, I bee visualizing, Whats up? Im ready...
This is where I remind myself that everything is in Divine timing it happens when its right not when we think is right or when we WANT it to be, everything happens in its time. There is a formula to everything you can't plant an oak tree and think that just because you really really want it to grow fast it will its gonna take about 20 years for that Tree to fully mature. Everything in nature has a formula, patterns a process. I am a part of that and even though my consciousness is awakened I feel like I am healing, I know better, the residue of what existed still affects my life I can't skip steps in the process to get where I want to be.
Where I am now is where I am supposed to be, The things that are happening in my life are what need to happen so I can evolve, the things that are painful cause pain for a reason, when something hurts or feels uncomfortable that becomes the location that needs my attention. Me knowing the things that I know about life and myself doesn't stop the process from happening. My knowledge is like a box of tools, thats all it is, its up to me to use them. Life is always going to present a challenge, that is what this journey is about. Every 7 years I am a whole new person carrying the essence of my past lives, it is a constant cleansing and rejuvenation process, Detaching and releasing THOUGHTS and things that are not serving me.
Expectation is a tricky one, "Expect great things" but release the expectation of ever getting anything at all. How do you release the expectation but expect to get it? That's like that fine line between hot & cold, love and hate. When you release expectation and know that everything is always as it should be then it becomes a matter of how you feel in that moment, being present, I don't expect to feel great in this moment cause expectation is living in the future, I feel great NOW, I trust this moment so I don't expect anything different than what I know NOW it simply goes back to balance as all things do.
This has been an intense journey to say the least, I know that I am ready for every challenge cause I'm here breathing through it. Why is this happening in my life? Because its time for it, what ever it is. I have The creator of all things connected to me, God, Most High, The Greatest Force there is, I AM.